That I opened all the way

turned myself inside out like a levee that broke

That I fell shattered the ice I drowned

became smaller and smaller

That your tongue was like a steel rake scrawling scars

of names reprobate you wanted me to wear openly

That at times I was sun that went super nova too early

Vomiting my pressed down rage on you

That I will never try to hurry up

to heal for anyone else

That my legs were bound strapped down

teeth clinched sometimes just at the sight of you

That I watched as you transformed from tulip to

A colony of fire ants swarming around my orifices

That wolf guide was actually the ferocity to hide

That starry night swirls of hypnotic lamps in awe of us

That old sermon down, white robes, down at the creek

Its mouth, our toes sunk in clay, this was scheduled to be a baptismal

That I know at times it wasn’t just you

An ember takes its last breath and quietly ashes

That I spoke to my scars yesterday and gave

them permission to heal; to dust my ego

That I wish you well to salve

In acreage full of sunflowers

Though

Life started out a sketchpad

A wreck of dark thick lines scribbled scrawling

And beating across my eyes, I am now

Round thumbing and indexing smooth

Smoothing stretching out to

limits permit me, I do not bleed

all over it, do not bleed the goal now is form,

Light must pass through it

They did the best they could

I prune I evolve

I create new neural pathways

I scrape the scrawl that wreck,

the carbon shavings, the pulverized

child-self from pit to gradient see

how I am rising into

an orb, life like, real, crystal

Obsession and passion found

Occupying same metro line this morning

One with today’s trades the other bound

An paranoid eye Instagram scrolling

Macallan 12 caught the sun setting

The way its overwhelmed by ice

Like dusk between clouds not savoring

Diluting its flavor, effect, advice

The heart knows its target

Before the mind goes like the way

Smoke runs away from its

Origin story

path beaten cut deeper toe stubbing jumped on other

Falling backwards arms spread wide for someone catch

Lips calloused purple of daily blunt

spine and limbs of a book ratty soft edges ripped pages

same meal prepared now tired of a stairway bows

dips in warped grooves wood smooth the quieting of

a crescendo at its zenith tired of its blues strings

Plexiglas window slowly shattering into cochlea

From the constant cleaning there using sponge same wring out a lover

to absorb another the desperate search for a roach with one more hit

At a night club in seven and half ashtrays trying to shake

a shadow all day until night where it doesn’t matter;

shit gets old if your keen

on it. IChing today:

relax. permeate.

release.

a homogeneous mixture of light and path is

floral essence in a rain storm is

the State’s morning pledge of allegiance is

monitoring enlightenment by applications is

a billion changing faces is the internet is

chains and chattel is fair according to victor is  

the loser’s reparations in golden grills made of bibles is

righteous is what you make it is self-donation in party is

womb and the invitation into this realm is the opium of drum is

a warren of human existence and its labyrinth is

encapsulated in tongues poetic is puppeteer of time is

a crutch is a crystal prison is the regret in healing is

silence hidden inside of a forest creek is ego is

an overflow is the matter of absence is sanctification by dance is

the reflection ping from a wet eye is the sphere of life is

a vibe is an angel Coltrane’s horn, is scar tissue of ascension;

Never trust a two-dollar steak.

Pressed down shaken together

And running over; return sought to be a

parade, a

celebration of life but rather a

sour roiling wound in a base so deep, the

sheer avoiding nature the

self-centered take on my emotions

Makes the

wound spill harder, just seeking a

herringbone gold chain

An ascot and a waist watch.

For ‘a’ (lipogram)

ash

Valhalla paths  

ash

an amaranth lass

ash  

amass a charlatan’s grafts

ash

a bacchanal past

ash

acts as ass  

ash

a man’s charm bank

ash

vagrant’s caravan

ash

balm

ash

play

ash

a champ harsh

ash

gag gallant acts

ash

a watchman’s karma back