After Baldwin

I crave a secure mooring post

because freedom is too damn unbearable

life defined by emotional attachés

I’m not afraid of losing people

as much, being afraid of not being tied to

someone or an idea even is another thing entirely

the parent-child co-dependency,

lover to therapist-parent,

friend to bank account, like a solid wooden post

dug several feet into subsurface, its surety,

it’s a controlled environment yet I knew

as a child constant flux

traffic of parent’s lovers, tide in tide out

one post to the next freedom is fear is

the horror of loneliness

being out at sea too long without that

sure without that grounded,

but it’s so necessary now

not to play it safe, to let go, to uproot

and burn, to dismantle it all, to not inventing

something because someone says its right

I woke up with my mind

evolution on

slip of mooring line’s knot,

that slow drift from dock

open blue waters

the diamond dance of sunlight

a soft bell will play

a Yes to life


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